First post

Here's my first post. If this keeps going on, and I become famous one day, then these words may be read.

It's 3:15 PM on 5/22/12 in Northern Virginia, USA. I am 17, attending public high school, and my MBTI personality is E 1%, N 25%, F 75%, and P 15%. I go by "Mind's Eye" online.

I decided to start this blog because I had this tiny thought that maybe, if I could write some of my thoughts down, then I, or somebody with an unusual attention span, could make use of a collection of them. Silly thought, but at least a blog is free, and somewhat more productive than free video games.

Today as I received my interim report card, I thought to myself that I am definitely slipping. The maths and sciences I knew were my strong point in my earlier life now seemed hardly my strongest point anymore. That is possibly because the way I think has changed, because I was simply getting by off intellect before now, or because I am more surrounded and susceptible to frivolous distractions such as the internet. Most likely, it is all of them. I had two thoughts following: 1) are grades as important as most people older or wiser than I say? and 2) is this change in my norms a sign that I should slowly change the way I live my life?

1) Grades are only as important as "they" say if I live my life to "their" terms. I do not wish to turn myself into a hippe-druggie-anarchist, (even simply being brought up in this society makes it hard to imagine myself as one) but to seriously consider whether I should be thinking more independently. If thinking independently is so often encouraged, would it be discouraged to have the independent thought "following regular society isn't important"? I guess it depends who you ask. One thing is certain, nothing moves without independent thought.

2) If I have been told my entire life that I am a "math and science person", but recent evidence shows I am not (and recent observation shows I do not really wish to be), should I pursue it anyways? Perhaps I am going through a "phase", which is likely because I am a teenager, or perhaps I am just not as dominant in those hard fields as before. It is beginning to come to light to me the frustration of somebody who simply cannot find something that they are good at and enjoy doing. Similarly, I am starting to understand somebody who has found something they enjoy and are good at, but is not productive.

My future does not cause me great stress. I am sometimes concerned with how little I care, compared to how much I should be caring, giving that I can do more. Lasting motivation is not easy to come by, and I feel finding that interest that is productive, enjoyable, and easy for me will give me lasting motivation.

Thanks for reading!